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It's your job to contribute to a marriage, but it takes two to pull that off. This hot adult want flirt doesn't sound like a partnership, you said you have no, why don't you move out for six months and what shakes out. It's fine to vent, although people get tired of it, so unless you have an action plan, this is your life.
Quit whining, you're not an indentured servant, you're free to leave the house at any time. BTW, your wife seems like she has to control everything if the windshield wiper incident is indicative of a larger pattern.
She throws things into disarray and no one can finish them, she has control of it all. She "controls" not "does" I wouldn't live with that, no way.